Reality TV is a guilty pleasure, yet most reality shows are ones that we love to hate; here are some of the most entertaining British reality TV shows

There’s resounding, irrefutable evidence that alcohol is a depressant, yet for the few hours of disassociation and repeating the same story a dozen times all in the name of “fun,” billions of people will still willingly trade in tomorrow’s clean bill of health, and the avoidance of the painful process of retracing last night’s steps for a night on the moonshine. We know full well that it’s bad for us, but what little self-discipline we may possess simply isn’t enough to counteract our temptation to knock back a few tequila shots. Like alcohol, we also live in the knowledge that binge-watching reality TV has very few benefits. It’s fast-food television, it tickles our taste buds before it invariably leads to self-loathing and the toxicity of comparison, which, as Roosevelt once wisely said, is the thief of joy.

Yet like alcohol, reality TV is a so-called guilty pleasure. It is trash television designed for the very purposes of entertainment, and in some cases, shock-factor. Essentially, no reality TV show is 'good art,' and attempting to separate the terrible from the not-so-terrible is akin to picking from the best of a bad bunch. The best reality shows are ones that we love to hate, so here are some of the most entertaining British reality TV shows...

The focus of Embarrassing Bodies is on people too embarrassed to go to a doctor about (largely) superficial ailments; instead, they opt to expose themselves to doctors on national television in front of the world. From skin tags and warts to STDs, rashes, and rectal examinations, patients go with all matters of issues. While it’s important to treat these things with sensitivity, the show is a reminder you could always be worse off, and by that, I mean having a micro-penis…

The Only Way is Essex (or TOWIE, as it’s commonly abbreviated), is basically Made in Chelsea for the nouveau riche. The show is concerned with the love lives, business endeavors, and spray tans of the 20-somethings in the county of Essex, just northeast of London. It’s a program that exhibits shocking taste in just about everything; think, hot pink hummers, botched plastic surgery, and Oompa-Loompa fake tans.

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If Adam and Eve were replaced with Barbie and Ken, TOWIE is arguably what the world would look like. The show's impact on society has even led to a new word being added to the dictionary “Vajazzle”… if you’re going to Google it, it’s probably best you know how to delete your search history first.

MTV’s Geordie Shore is a take on America’s equally trashy reality TV show Jersey Shore. The English version is just grayer, more outlandish, and a little more hectic; it’s also the only English reality show that requires subtitles so that other English speakers can understand. Set in Newcastle, in the northeast of England, Geordie Shore documents the lives of eight post-teen Geordies in a house share as they party, fall in love, and fight. From “Wye Aye,” “Radgy,” and “Gadgee” to “Proper Mint” and “Neckin on,” the Geordie dialect is a language within itself, and it’s perhaps a little more understandable that translation is often required.

In essence, Made in Chelsea is 'Keeping up with the Royals,' as there have genuinely been some more or less tenuous links with cast members and the British royal family over the course of its 11-year runtime. The show, set in the affluent Southwest London area of Kensington and Chelsea, comprises a group of 20-somethings swanning around in their convertible sports cars, taking weekend trips to “Mummy and Daddy’s” countryside manor houses, sunning it up on the beaches of St. Tropez, and partying in chalets on the French Alps.

It’s a social experiment gone wrong… the kids of the social elite run riot on their own TV show. Love, drama, and an unfathomable amount of bitchiness have played out in front of our very eyes for the last decade, it’s as if Gossip Girl was semi-real and the Upper East-Siders moved into the Victorian mansions of London’s royal borough sporting bumblingly posh English accents. Watching this show is like getting a very depressing but fascinating look into capitalism.

Another show in a format sold all around the world. Fronted by Lord Alan Sugar and his two sidekicks Claude and Karen, he offers one aspiring entrepreneur a £250,000 investment and the chance to become his business partner. On the face of it, The Apprentice provides the opportunity for talented business minds to acquire a life-changing sum of money to kickstart a potentially fruitful career in business.

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However, it’s increasingly been the case that the contestants involved have little in the way of business acumen and instead are grossly incompetent in their chosen field. As harsh as it is, it is particularly entertaining watching the often arrogant individuals with no self-awareness squirm and capitulate at the hand of some of Britain’s finest business brains. The show is a self-reminder that our inner schadenfreude is very much alive and well.

Originating in Japan, Dragon’s Den, or Shark Tank as it’s known in the states, is a business reality show where entrepreneurs and inventors pitch their companies, products, and ideas to a group of wealthy investors (Dragons) in the hope to procure investment for a share of their businesses. The UK Dragon’s Den has uncovered some true entrepreneurial geniuses over the years including the Rastafarian Levi Roots, the creator of Reggae Reggae Sauce. While there are plenty of success stories, the Dragons have fished out some infamous grilling’s to those who dare enter their lair unprepared, and without the appropriate information.

Love Island has experienced worldwide success, partly due to its format being sold to 13 countries including America and Australia. Principally, the show pitches beautiful singletons in a luxury holiday villa where they make it their mission to find love; once “coupled up” the partners are frequently tested via new, single additions.

After eight weeks, the couples are gradually whittled down with the winners claiming £50,000 and a ton of fast-fashion and charcoal teeth whitening endorsements. Having first aired in 2015, the show has just concluded its eighth season. While it’s predominantly full of halfwits, there is a real public attraction to the show, and the thrills, spills, and love triangles have the agony aunt in all of us firmly enticed.